Monday, June 30, 2014

Drop Dead Diva

So if I died.. whose body would I want to come back in and what would I do? Well, don't call me morbid.. TV is making me think like this! Don't believe me? Fine.. read the quote below from the opening credits from the TV show drop dead diva and you will know for yourself!

" See that aspiring model out there? That was me Deb, until the day I died. I thought I would go straight to heaven but there was a bit of mix up and I ended up in someone else's body. Now  I'm Jane - - I'm a super busy lawyer with my very own assistant. I got a new life, a new ward robe and the only people who know about it are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel friend. I used to think every thing happened for a reason.. I sure hope so"

..... Any rational thinking person would not take this seriously! Then again who makes rational TV or movies any more.. You don't agree? 
Okay let's look at some Hollywood blockbusters.. Spiderman? Superman? Transformers? Are they rational by any means? They are larger than life and pure fantasy. And this is somewhere in the middle! 

This is a feel good show- she wins every single case! But would I like it if she didn't? Probably not. I think really great escapade at least for me.. it sort of tells you everything will be alright all the time, even if you drop dead.. literally.. you can come back from the dead and suddenly make a huge money by becoming a lawyer. Uh Ha.. you can.. but why would you want to die in th first place.. well shit happens, okay! 

I'm just trying to imagine this in a bollywood  frame work  or a balaji show framework.. it would probably be called kyunki Deb bhi khabi Jane thi.. (because deb was once jane) and the think is.. it will be much more dramatic.. 

If you think Drop dead diva is cheesy think about what it would be like in a balaji series.. there will be songs, there will be dancing in the rain and Jane will have a perfect figure .. although people around her will be calling her fat directly/ indirectly.. See bigger people in Indian movies are only used in a comical role or not at all.. I"m not saying you shouldn't be healthy and all... you should try to shed the excess pounds but I don't think you can make it into TV in India if you are a bigger person, not without a whole lot of criticism any way. Look at Parineeti Chopra and Sonakshi Sinha.. people in the media call them curvy... are you serious?? Do you even know what curvy really means?? 

Well any way back to my kyunki Deb bhi kabhi Jane thi.. oh I bet Sunny Deol will make an appearance and have his famous dialogue in there..  Tariq pe Tariq ...  Who would be cast as Deb and Stacy and Jane? 

I would cast Katrina Kaif as Deb - so she will appears in the credits but that is pretty much it!  Stacy will be Sonam Kapoor - she will fit right in to Stacy's character - haha I think you know why.. Off course I'm referring to her fashion sense.. what did you think?

Who will be Grayson? Well I had a couple of choices but I think the clear winner is Gautam Rode- he is a TV actor yes! but I think he will fit in perfectly! 

Kim Caswell will be Ashwairya.. she has this annoying thing going on - she is annoyed with everything in the world.. she gives smart ass answers, she is good looking and she thinks she is very smart!  Thank God, the show will he in hindi.. otherwise her fake accent wold have killed everything. 

Okay, so all we need right now to make a call to Balaji and convince them to take this on.. I even have a title with K in it picked out!!!

Monday, June 16, 2014

What does Sine curve and 22 Jump Street have in common?

 IMDB  has a 8.1 rating from 13,000 voters for 22 Jump Street. There is so much chatter as to how it is so much better than the previous movie, but I'm sorry, I disagree!

 Now, now, I am a grown up and I just don't like a movie because it has Channing Tatum in it. I have sound judgement now and Mr. Tatum had no role to play in my decision making process to watch this particular movie. I swear.. I mean look at his face..  you think his smouldering good looks can convince me?
Well okay, may be a tiny bit, but that's it!

But seriously though, I was disappointed with the movie. Don't get me wrong, it was funny and in some instances hilarious - but it wasn't interesting. As in the story didn't have any meat. They focused way too much on being funny and way too less on the story line.

I compare the movie to a sine curve - it was good and then it was bad and then it was good again and it was repetitive.. just how Wikipedia defines sine curve!
There were some sub plot line whose significance I failed to understand. It didn't take the movie forward, it didn't really see how it contributed to the story other than proving a point that it is different than last time.

Example :
Channing Tatum being a jock ! Okay you are trying to portray that high school was awful for Jenko and college was awesome but how did that help us catch the drug dealers? They didn't really get to the drug source. Yes he became really good friends with the football players and that gave us some hilarious moments of Schmidt trying to fit in but that was not unexpected funny!
I thought it was very used and abused real life -fat-guy-is-not-as-fit-as-a-jock kinda obvious funny which is very last season funny.

What I think we liked about 21 Jump Street was the fact the not so popular wannabe Slim Shady of a decade ago was instantly popular with the cool kids of today! The audience wasn't expecting it. The punks and the drug dealers weirdly cared about the environment and the nerd kid of the 90s actually blended in really well with the popular ones!

But 22 Jump Street had nothing like that.

They latched on to "bromance" that they started in the previous movie - "Will you go to prom with me" and just went on and on to  the point it lost it's novelty and was no longer funny!

Summary of the movie : The "partners" fought, they made up and they kicked the gangstar's ass! THE END!

Before I sign out for today let's just talk about the action sequences shall we?

Was this a big Hollywood break for a struggling Bollywood action director? Or was it a cruel joke played on a poor Bollywood action director who thought he made it in Hollywood, only to find out the only reason he was picked was to enhance the comedy factor in the film !

 Channing Tatum doing Dhisoom dhisoom was fine.. But Channing hitting the Gang-sTaz with the legs of a drunk girl who was sitting on his shoulder.. really?
Channing Tatum jumping on to a helicopter after being hit by a bullet in his arm from the top of a building? REALLY?

Let me make one thing super clear here folks! Only and ONLY Akhshay Kumar has the right to do that and nobody else!
Ridiculous! You are just going to watch a Khiladi movie, get inspired by our super awesome stunts and as a hard core Bollywood movie fanatic we would just let that slide? In "Didi"'s words NEBHARRRRR!!

Friday, June 6, 2014

Why Humpty Sharma ki Dulhania will be a hit!

Dharma Productions's Humpty Sharma ki Dulhania (HSKD) is all set for release on July 11. Will this movie be a hit?

Offcourse! Have you noticed the marketing efforts they have put into it? No? Okay let me  break it down and tell me if you disagree:

1.Karan Johar movie: That brand name alone will get all the hardcore Masala movie lovers all excited!

2.Macro to Micro : I like this strategy of creating interest in your audience

First there was a poster -see above. With nothing else.
Then there was a "home video" of the actors saying that they are trying to make this video secretly before the trailer comes to out to tell the audience what the movie is about... Almost giving you a secret insight..

My question here is does anyone really fall for it? Unless you are 10 off course.. may be the intent is not to make you believe it is real.. but to make you feel like you had a chance to be a part of the celebrity's life outside of the movie, even if it is for 2 minute and 15 seconds

3. Filmy style trailer launch in YouTube. 

Fun Trailer - very next gen type dialogues, more direct flirting .. no running around in chiffon sarees in snow capped mountains. Just running around in normal clothing around Delhi. Catchy tunes, defining who the hero and who the "vedesi" villain is! I liked the presentation of the trailor. Check it out by clicking the link below :

They actually have titled the video filmy style trailer launch.

4. Using Social Media to it's fullest :

They have a FB page, a twitter account. But what is important to note is Karan Johar tweets about how HSKD trailor has had 1 million views. 1 million views is an achievement in it self. But when KJO tweets about it - the impact doubles.. why? he has 3.9 million followers and even if 1/3 of them view it, there you go another million.

Varun Dhawan, has changed his name on Twitter and it read Varun Humpty Dhawan - I like this promo strategy as well.

5. Using television to promote it:

Okay this is sort of an old strategy in Bollywood now, but a strategy that works! The cast and director/ producer come on to these various talent shows as the judges and in turn promotes their movies!
They have even satrted scripting parts in very popular soaps in India like - Bade Achhe Lagte Hain and the like to promote their movies. Annoys me .. but you know what, it works.

What about the story you ask? Since when has a Bollywood Masala film need a story line you can follow? The packaging matters the most and it has all of that!

 - Good Looking actors - check
- Big banner - check
- Lot of unique promotion techniques - check

Okay if you really want to know about the storyline this is what I gathered from the promo :

Story based in Delhi. Girl meets boy in college/ neighbourhood. They become friends. Boy is a fun loving guy , girl is a diva but sweet at the same time . Don't forget it is a KJO movie, the girl has to be a diva! (Did you forget "PooH" in K3G?)
Girl's parents are trying to get her married to NRI (non - resident Indian).
Boy gets drunk with girl one night and realises he loves her. But now the NRI guy is in India to marry girl... boy has to do something to win her back AND surprise surprise he finally does!!!  ANd they live happily ever after ... Again as I mentioned not important!

I'm predicting Anupama Chopra will give it a 2.5 star and audience will give it a 4 star! And the movie will be a hit!! Will be part of the so called "100 crore" club!